So... Since the days of my PE (Pulmonary Embolism) on the 5th December, 2017 my life has changed dramatically.
I remember in a haze a mountain of doctors, dietitians, pharmacists, nurses - all preparing me to go home and heal after a 5 day long stay in the respiratory ward. I was reminded by my doctor & head of respiratory that I was lucky to be alive as they had no idea where and what caused a sudden onset PE.
I went to my GP that morning of the 5th, it was a Tuesday. Ironically I had cancelled my appointment for the Monday as I wasn't feeling well. The first thing she did was check my BP, which 5-6 weeks prior it was a little elevated & I was medicated for it. The next thing she asked is that did I have chest pain or was it hard to breathe. I told her I was short of breath the last few days and she promptly put the oxygen reader on my finger and instead of seeing numbers 97-99 we saw an 84. She told me that I wasn't going anywhere and that I was off to hospital and shall she call me an ambulance. RIGHT. Life changed in an instant. I told her I had 3 children to organise and a husband to get home from work to take me to hospital (the kids went to mum & dads)
I remember on the way to the hospital and holding my husband's hand thinking is this the last car ride I'll have? What is wrong with me? Am I going to die? What will happen to my babies? So many thoughts to process but I felt so numb.
I was rushed through emergency and promptly had a cannula put in to draw blood & start fluids as I was dehydrated. I was rushed through to have a CT scan, X-Ray & needed to go through a massive machine that 'lit up' & looked predominately at my lungs. Within 2 hours I learnt my fate. I had survived a PE (Pulmonary Embolism) and was extremely lucky to still be earth-side as I had around 8 clots sitting in both lungs. Cue tears. Cue fear. Cue the unknown. Cue respiratory ward, which was my home for the next 5 days.
Alone in a sterile room, no flowers allowed due to obvious reasons, I had a tv & whilst I couldn't sit in a chair upright until day 3, it was there to sit and watch the sunset. I reflected on all the things I haven't done, WHY hadn't I done them? What the fuck stopped me? I survived this massive thing and reflection was somewhat calming. I no longer wasted energy on the people that didn't give a fuck about me, I culled a lot of facebook 'friends' & just generally tried to get stronger each day.
With my husband having to take the week off work to look after the baby, they visited everyday - it was the happiest & saddest part of my day. They normally stayed a little past visiting hours but because I was a top patient they didn't mind 😉
My husband would help me shower as I wasn't allowed to stand whilst washing because of possible fainting or worse. Day by day I got a little better & although having to give myself 2 injections per day - it hurt (a lot) I didn't mind, hey, it was keeping me alive.
Day 5 (11th December) I was hoping that I'd get the 'ok' to head home to rest & recoup. I had battled a serious fever throughout my stay and the doctors were concerned I may have had sepsis, so until my oxygen levels were steady on or above 96% & my temp went away - Monday was looking good.
Turns out I was good to go, well you know - right to go home & complete change of life itself. I hugged my mum as we got to their place, we both burst into tears and I didn't want to let her go. My eldest daughter (10) was crying and everyone was just emotional as they didn't think they'd see me again.
Apart from not being able to drive for 6 weeks, have a blood test every 2-3 days, take blood thinners, inject myself with anti clotting agents & get used to the fact I'll live with compromised lungs for the rest of my life - I was ALIVE.
Since June I have been given the all clear & placed on a preventative medication. I cannot tell you how much I hated taking warfarin and what it did to my body, I'm glad (and hopeful) that I won't be on it anymore..
I have a lot to live for, I am trying to get healthy & eat properly (not just dinner) and exercise (fuck you fibro) slowly but surely I will get there.. It's a promise I've made to myself.
Be kind x
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